"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different..."
C.S. Lewis
With the start of the third trimester around the bend next week- we've been slowly encountering those unexpected epiphanies that we are GOING TO MEET OUR FIRST DAUGHTER IN LESS THAN 3 MONTHS! AaaaAaAAaaaaaaaH! hahahaha, What a tremendous experience of thanksgiving, joy, excitement (and a little anxiety) this realization pours into our hearts.
The previous tiny bumppity-bump-bumps in the growing belly that we would so
patiently wait for are now full HAAAAAY-YYYYYYAAAAAAHS that wake me up
in the middle of the night or push Karim off if he is pressing too hard in her space. In other developments- I think I've finally crossed that
threshold of looking pregnant to strangers because it seems like people are finally
taking notice that I am indeed a pregnant woman and didn't just eat a
dozen donuts.
The reoccurring question I keep asking myself in all of this is: "How has this time gone by so quickly?!" C.S. Lewis articulates my sentiments perfectly regarding one's experience with change. It's amazing how even though our lives have followed a similar flow day-by-day, there comes a moment where I stand still and in the act of looking back I realize that everything really is different. The morning sickness which once had such a stronghold on my life is now just a blurry memory. Even though Advent preparation is still fresh in our hearts I realize it too has come and gone and we are now in the season of Lent. Even materially speaking, my once big pants must be gathering dust because they have long been in storage and even their replacements are losing their appealing stretch. ;-) So what do you think?...Will these next 3 months hold a similar experience of change?
In one sense, if I was given the option to flash forward to May, and receive our daughter, I would say "YES!" without a moment of hesitation. On the other hand... in my moments of panic, I would utter a vehement- "NO! Not yet! I'm not ready! We don't have a crib, we live in a 600ft apt., I haven't taken breathing classes (how will I survive labor without knowing how to breathe!?), Karim hasn't practiced changing diapers, I don't know what I'll dress her in, I haven't eaten enough salads to cancel out that last cheese burger, what are we going to name her!!?!?!" hahaha.
Even though I'm convinced there might be a couple of sparks of reason in my panic lists, I'd have to say I find myself leaning more towards the marker of excitement and confidence along the spectrum of all that being a new parent holds. Going by the measures of life thus far, I know that God will find ways to keep us humble in all stages of our parenting endeavors. In that alone, a hope rises to assure us that even though the situation may never be 'perfect' to welcoming our baby girl into our lives, in His love, we will undoubtedly be given the capability to share a 'perfect' love with her.
Both Karim and I have been blessed with incredible role models of parents who in their careful obedience to God allowed us to witness that 'perfect' expression of love from parents to their children. We both experienced first hand the value of self-sacrifice, compassion, and unconditional love in our own homes growing up. In both the ups and downs of our lives, our parent's faith in God served as the strength and binding love that now allows us to live with greater clarity and reminds us to cherish each other with new eyes each day.
I encountered a similar courage in the act of loving a child many times throughout my profession in pediatrics where the role of a parent was so pivotal in the overall outcome of the hospital experience. One memory which left a great impression on my view of parenting came in the form of working with a family who's school-aged daughter was undergoing a series of very intense surgeries to improve her breathing pathways. She had been born with very debilitating deformities. Because of the birth defects, it would have been difficult for most people to even recognize that she was a little girl (The contours of her face did not follow the 'normal' outlines of eyes, a nose, mouth, or ears, and her limbs had similar abnormalities). She was able to communicate with a little bit of mobility in one arm and with the improved breathing path ways, communication was extended to include simple utterances. Walking into my first meeting with the family, completely took me aback. The 'limitations' many people might have labeled her with completely fell away as I listened to and watched the father rub her hands and read her a children's book. He loved her so perfectly in his multiple verbal affirmations telling her she was beautiful, his gentle attention to her needs of wiping tears that would collect in her eyes and covering her with a blanket, and his shared child-like excitement during joyful moments of the story he was reading. These little acts of love were indeed 'perfect' and made it unmistakable to know that before me was a little girl experiencing the love her parent. I witnessed a similar exhibition of love from other family members of the little girl who practiced constant patience, simplicity, a sense of humor, and reoccurring affirmation that they were truly thankful for this beautiful girl.
The checklists of everything we have left to do before May still hold relevance, however, in looking to these valuable memories of parents who have shared a 'perfect' love remind both Karim and I that we will always be learning and the greatest lessons will come when in stillness we allow our children to teach us. Our little girl is already sharing the presence of Christ in our lives and the excitement of having her with us increases abundantly as we cherish this thanksgiving and a reciprocated desire to 'perfect' our love.
So with our third trimester full ahead- we say hip-hip-hooray!!
Besitos y Sonrisas,
Teresita & Baby Chehade :)
Photos this week are from our first 'family' trip to San Diego: Great company of JP & Monique, beautiful views, amazing Mexican food, and our safari day trip to the zoo :)
My "Big Mama" photo! |
These are our loving husbands as they look over our shoulders to watch the NBA All Star dunk contest during our romantic dinner ;) |
El Jefe de los Meerkats, jajaja |
@ 26weeks. The cheer for this coming week: 3 more months, 3 more months- Ra-Ra-Ra! |
Thank you, Teresa, for sharing your beautiful reflections that express something mysterious & divine as you so lovingly shelter your precious daughter. To be protecting her with your entire being is already an expression of what a good mother you are! Can't wait to meet our grandaughter!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely beautiful, Teresa. Your little girl is already bringing so much love and light into everyone's lives! I love the three of you and am always praying for you all!
ReplyDeletein egypt we have a proverb called,water, air and the beautiful face.
ReplyDeletecongrtulations guys, alf mabrouk