Good Night/Good Morning Little Bird

“Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe" 

(Jn 20:29)

Within my profession I have used the saying with my friends and family that “Today we sent someone to heaven.” Even though these words connote the greatest of joys, I in the midst of my ordinary life am asked to mourn softly for a loss. 

This past week, I used this phrase once more but to communicate the passing of one of my best friends, Fr. “Matt” Robinson. Never, have these mentioned words given me such freedom in celebrating the quiet passage which we make towards our loving Father. I discovered by way of Fr. Philip Neri Powell, OP that Fr. Matt passed with his brothers by his side singing “Salve”. I truly believe that, in our Father’s mercy, this song would have been heard seamlessly as he was greeted by the heavenly choirs!!

 I recall my first meeting with Fr. Matt with such vivid detail and color. I had recently transferred to the University of Dallas after some of the most difficult months of my life. In entering a new environment, being a stranger to all on campus, and having listened to my first phenomenology lecture, I had reached the point of feeling completely defeated. In my brokenness, I sought out the one thing I had trusted and found peace in: the sacrifice of the Mass. As soon as I arrived, Fr. Matt in his small frame greeted me with a sweet smile and welcomed me in for mass. The moment Fr. Matt began praying I felt my heart light up with fire. God had given me the comfort I needed to get through that day, the next day, and the course of my undergraduate life.

That beautiful ablaze which I experienced on our first meet only grew as our friendship deepened and enriched my life. When seeking a spiritual director for my discernment, I felt it in my heart to ask him and he responded with his humbling refrain: “I’d be happy to. How may I help you?” His faithfulness, sincerity, and love- led me to the path of preparing for marriage and will undoubtedly continue to bear witness to the many treasures which he meaningfully sown in my heart.

I can write a lifetime on the gifts he has shared with me, but I thought it might be truer to share with you a collection of his poems. What better way to keep him present in our hearts than to enter into an eternal conversation with the pure expression of his spirit.

Thank you for your continual yes to God, Fr. Matt! In your valiant effort to reveal the beauty of the human person, you became that which you were attempting to defend: the trusting, quiet, loving presence of the powerful, transforming image of God! What a beautiful vessel of God’s love you were, and continue to be, to us all!

Original poems by Fr. Edward Mathias (Matt) Robinson, OP

Celebrate Life!

Time is for waiting and time is for doing;
Time is for savoring and time is for ruing.
Life is a long line of time tied to time,
Much like words, giving sense to this rhyme.

Then, what?

The book is open and the pages turn,
Marking the time for me to discern
The cost per item of time soon spent,
To ponder the past, wherever it went.

The drip of water and the flow of sand
Can measure time that is now at hand.
But what of the day, when they run out?
That's the time to be thinking about.

To the Final Port

Unfurl the sails; the day is done.
Set the course into the sun
Of that most prized, Perpetual Day.
Then close the log: let the Record say:

"He ventured far; he played his part, 
Battered some, yet firm of heart.
He changed the watch with steady hand
And trusted God to find that Land."

Mother and Child

A breath-taking sunset or a symphony of sound
Are fainter in beauty than what can be found
In the smile of a child.

The highest of mountains or greenest of fields
Fall short of the beauty a mother's face yields
To the eyes of a child.

May you be that child, in whose smile can be seen
And whose eyes can perceive, you know what I mean,
The beauty of God

Abortion's Aftermath
(A prayer of healing)

The fruit of the vine
has been stripped,
And the vine has been
broken!

Only the blood of the grape
remains,
And those who drink of it
awaken in sorrow.

The pain of sorrowing
can give way to joy,
by the path of repentance
leading to life, 
in the fragrance
of God's forgiveness.

"I have come that they may have life, 
and may have it more abundantly." Jn. 10,10

Being Human

A single pebble stirs the total lake,
When dropped into its center.
It's an empty gift if no others take
Occasion of its circles, to enter!

Two small stones, in different places,
Dropped on the lake, their circles make,
This time, forming some happy faces
Where ripples of each, in the other's partake.

Peace

The dove sits lightly on its perch,
Though a world rests on its shoulders.
If dart it must, our world is shaken;
If die it can, the orb is shattered.

A gentle bird, a strict ecology demands,
An environment of harmony and order:
The smallest factor to its role be true,
To win the whole by helping of the parts.

With fingers full of Chemistry & Physics,
Grosser things of life we "keep in line:"
The material of our tangible surroundings.
A finer thing, our humaneness, we often fail.

Do human actions have no rules, no plan,
To keep us one with self and neighbor?
Or is the mischief in our willingness
To want what tears asunder?

Rather, do our choices, seen too close,
Blind us to their faithful consequence,
So that our wish is not to want the whole
Which reigns without our bidding?

As I do, by my choices, threat the bird,
So my nation and my world will shake
The unsteady perch from which it serves,
And loosen its grip on the twig of sanity.

The King of Peace is needed much
To guide our hand, in reaching out
When storms of self are raging,
To stay the fragile branch.

"Lazarus, Come Out!"

“None are so poor that they have nothing to give, and none are so rich that they have nothing to receive.” Bl. JPII

I have desired to write a Lenten reflection for the past weeks. However, with increased responsibilities, general difficulties, and some sorrowful loses at work; avoiding that transcription of thought into word, came quite easily.  The more I thought of it though, I realized that this period where I find it difficult to move forward, was perhaps the greatest of starting points to begin writing a sincere reflection of the intimacy one finds with God throughout the Lenten season.

So pausing for a bit, I hope to share a brief reflection on the raising of Lazarus.

In anticipation of Palm Sunday, I find this to be fitting as it took place similarly only a few days before Christ’s arrival to Jerusalem.  What I have always loved about this gospel, is that we’re able to recognize our own resurrection in our identification with Lazarus. Pope Benedict XVI spoke on this last year and described such a resurrection as not simply Lazarus’ return to a previous life (“a normalcy”), but rather an opening of a new reality- a “new life”.  He declared that arriving at this resurrection should be understood as the authentic and definitive meaning of our human history, as it reveals our true reconciliation with God.

The imagery of the gospel brings this statement to life in that without the resurrection, we are simply shut in a tomb- devoid of light, hope, and life. (It makes me think of all the times when we in a way prepare our own tomb) Because of the all-consuming nature of personal sorrows, difficulties, or self-inflicted blindness, we may mistakenly find false comfort in these isolated voids. How easy it is to sometimes simply just ‘give up’, or ‘give in’.  In this moment of darkness, however, Christ prescribes an ethic of mercy and compassion. Rather than remaining in the tomb Lazarus goes from the cold, dark, lonely confines of a tomb, to the warmth, light, and truest of unity. Such a reconciliation occurs each time we witness the image of God in the people we interact with on a daily basis, turn from sin, in humility seek forgiveness, and align ourselves with God’s will. In each of these moments, we are in a way like Lazarus, being called by name and asked to come out into the light.One of the most beautiful examples of hearing the call of God in such a way came from a new friend who described to me the experience of becoming homeless and losing his eyesight shortly after. A truly poignant moment in his experience was when he described lying in fetal position on a busy sidewalk of the city. Even though he could hear and feel the movement of the chaos around, he experienced a piercing feeling of darkness, isolation, and solitude. In this, the only word he was able to cry out was “Help!”. In that utter brokenness, he said “it was as if a fire was lit in my heart”. He said the warmth spread throughout his entire body and having been overcome by a new life, he found himself crawling to his knees. Lifting his hands. And finally feeling his feet touch the floor. In that simple motion he had unknowingly stood up. The physicality of responding to an inner light of faith, allowed him to realize that rock-bottom had become the strongest foundation in his life.

This weekend, I was reminded by a local priest that one of the shortest of the gospel proclamations is the phrase: “Jesus wept” [John 11:35]. How telling this is of God’s response to our cries for help. What a reminder that in both His divinity and humanity, Christ bears the desire to return us, the children, to the Father who is awaiting our loving embrace.

May this therefore, be a time to listen for your name which is always being called by Christ who has experienced the weight of your heart and has responded with the following words:

"Father, I thank you for hearing me. I know that you always hear me; but because of the crowd here I have said this, that they may believe that you sent me."

"Lazarus, come out!"

The dead man came out, tied hand and foot with burial bands, and his face was wrapped in a cloth.

"Untie him and let him go."

Bear all things~ Believe all things~ Endure all things

"Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be done to me according to thy word." 

Luke 1:38

On Friday February 17^th, 2012….I received my first diamond! It was extended to me by the loving hand of my fiancé! With the backdrop of an awe inspiring sunrise at El Porto beach, the exchange felt like a true fairy tale. Imagine! Only a few months ago I was living in Texas without the slightest anticipation of such an experience! Oh, how God’s hand may in an instant guide you where you least expect! :)

As many of you know, I have never been attached to my jewelry. I fit the majority of my collection into an old Toms shoe-box. With regards to my African beads, Mexican icons, and felt scapular- my engagement ring is currently quite the contrast. Even though Karim was able to design it with my desire for simplicity, it is easily the most beautiful belonging which I have ever had as my own. The moment he extended it to me was, therefore, one of the most humbling experiences of my life. Responding to the request of becoming his wife, awakened in me a feminine beauty which I had never experienced. I felt so connected to this little ring. In that glimpse of beauty, I experienced myself as treasured in the hands of someone who I knew would bring me into a deeper communion with God. What a beautiful foreshadowing of our future wedding bands this may be! In expressing what also may lie hidden in our hearts, I believe that these too will act as an outward sign of not only being made for each other, but also belonging to each other!

I therefore look forward to this time of special preparation. As a time to walk towards greater purity, sincerity, and love; I think of the image where Mary of Bethany comes to Christ and breaks an alabaster jar to anoint Him with the perfumed oils and spikenard (Mark 14). Such an image, I believe, is symbolic of the moment where we are asked to break open our own hearts to transform all that it may contain. I think this may be the moment where we reach that level of profound worth, preciousness, and redeeming beauty that I saw in the diamond. How this speaks of the beauty in a total abandonment where our adoration acts as the very instrument of bringing us into the intimate presence of the Bridegroom!

As much as the diamond serves as a reminder of His love, the true treasure is, and will forever be, Karim’s generous heart which every day allows me to experience God's mercy. Oh how, my future husband has become such a prevailing window of seeing God’s love!! Our future depends on this love!! Our unity finds life in this love.

Thank you for your love my dearest Karim! What an all-encompassing adventure this will be!!!

Love you with all my heart!!!

-Teresa :) 

The photos I wanted to share were of my engagement & our recent visits with family. So between the magical and the ordinary, I think it's a pretty good glimpse of this crazy thing we call life!  :)